jeliza

The kids hung out with me last night and peeled masking paper of that day's cuttings, which was nice on several fronts (I hate pulling off the masking paper, it's fiddly. The kids find it soothing.)

Ankle still sucks. Production is still slower than it needs to be for my upcoming shows -- I need to ship to Farpoint tomorrow, Pancakes and Booze is Saturday (and Tammy will be doing all my setup and teardown, thank goodness), NerdFaireCon is February 8th, and that's the one I need to do MASSIVE amounts of production for. I mean, I'm short on stock for absolutely everything, but that one needs ALL THE THINGS, and 75% of the things in question happen on the Glowforge. Which is really not meant to be a production machine. Whee!

The boot inflicts its own set of bruises, but the actual injuries bruises have faded.

I've got a completed prototype of a ring-style refillable journal/notebook that takes standard half-letter and Franklin Covey paper, and will have the FiloFax version done once I can get my hands on a sample piece of their paper to properly measure the holes. This one is MDF, but all the ones I actually sell will be wood. (MDF is $4/sheet. Laser-prepped wood is $11-$16/sheet. Scroll-saw supplier Baltic birch is cheaper, but I need to figure out what level of sanding and finishing it needs before I sell anything made with it, and that's not happening while I'm not allowed to stand for more than a minute or two.)

I'll probably switch to slightly smaller rings, but this is what I could access when a friend could take me erranding. The inability to go out and find things is possibly the most irritating thing about this (other than the pain, and the boot.) Normally to solve the filofax examplar problem, I'd just stop by the Goodwill after dropping Dan off at school. Now, I have to hope I find a friend who can mail me a sheet or two.

I did mail order a bunch of heavier paper and a heavy duty hole punch. Did you know you can easily pay $80 for a good, non-electronic hole punch? (I didn't. I did spend $40, though.)

Crossposts: https://jeliza.livejournal.com/1083654.html

On Sunday, 15 minutes into a much needed cleaning binge (did I mention we're getting a puppy in a few weeks? and we have SO MUCH STUFF in puppy chewable/pee-on-able places that we'd rather not be ruined?) I slipped and twisted my ankle under my full weight plus the heavy bag I was carrying.

I haven't been in this much pain since I was throwing my back out regularly. I'm almost completely laid up, even with painkillers. I can sit up for about 20 minutes at a time. The bathroom is close by, but the kitchen is upstairs, and I am dependent on people paying attention to their texts and bringing me food.

Text messages are not guaranteed to be delivered in a timely fashion at any time. My house is made of concrete. Teenagers ignore their phones unless they are talking to their friends. The teenagers are, in fact, especially pouty today. D is somewhat excused, though, as the walk home in the snow when he's already under the weather sucks, and normally I pick him up from the bus stop.

This is not good for the puppy prep cleaning, or getting my worked shipped to Arisia in time. I've never taught anyone else how to put things together on cards and such, and my packaging and shipping supplies are in a lot of different places, none of them easily explained, or easy to navigate to on crutches. I am extra regretting that the studio organization project that was supposed to happen over vacation (and of course didn't, why do I forget that vacation for the kids is not vacation for me?) did not.

I've exhausted the supply of Monty Don videos on Netflix.

I have an in-person show on the 26th, as well as a remote show that needs work to be in Baltimore by the 26th. My stock is half what it should be. And I have a show on february 9th which I need to complete a massive amount of work for, primarily on the glowforge, which is upstairs, that has to include a fuckton of full on new, not jewelry, designs.

I could scream. Well, I did scream, but I could scream for non-pain based reasons.

Crossposts: https://jeliza.livejournal.com/1082191.html

My schedule for all I was going to get done while Dan was away at school camp has been blown all to hell, becuase at 5:30pm yesterday I got a call and it was clear that he was too sick to stay (particularly at the NatureBridge camp, where each day has hours of hiking.)

So, 2.5 hours there, via the Edmonds-Kingston ferry, and then 3.5 back, becuase it was late enough that we couldn't make the ferry's last sailing. Ugh. What's especially dumb is that if I have family in Sequim that I'm not super close to but would have totally been fine letting us crash, but I don't have their phone numbers and no easy way to get it.

I really, really hate driving on country highways at night, it's so horror movie waiting to happen, and when a car is far enough ahead of you in the dark, the red taillights look like monster eyes.

The boy is going to the doctor, since apparently the problem is something he's been having for a while but it just massively escalated, S is taking time off work to take O to the dentist appointment I had scheduled for right when Dan's school usually gets out, and I had to drink cola to stay awake and so didn't sleep for shit once I made it home at 1.

And my one rare-ish album offering is being discontinued, and etsy is raising their fees.

I am really not fond of the world right now. Wah wah.

Crossposts: https://jeliza.livejournal.com/1071561.html

It's a lovely sunny Saturday.

I've been up since early for a phone meeting with a potential client (I've had a sudden outbreak of inquiries on the album side. No idea why, but I'll take it.)

I've got a raging headache and periodic urge to cry for no reason I can discern, and when I flipped over last nights paintings, I see that I basically ruined a third of the pieces on the last layer. Yay. Somehow it is easier to take days like this when it's gray and rainy, but it just feels like the pleasant weather is mocking me.

Bleah. At least there is new Great British Baking Show to watch finally. Bless PBS.

Crossposts: http://jeliza.livejournal.com/1035303.html

So far today:

my chai spilled all over the car before I could drink any.
D left his math book & homework (which had been less than an inch from his backpack) at home, so I had to go drive it in
The smell of bacon is making my stomach turn, and S made a whole batch of it so the entire upstairs is pretty much off-limits.
The bacon offering, which was designed to increase the staying power of the childrens' breakfasts, was not a hit.
I had to drive S into work for reasons, so I've barely had any a chance to work this morning -- and I have at this point *three* projects past deadline.
And I have a haircut in an hour, and an appointment in Seattle in the early evening, so basically no chances to sit at the computer for longer than 45 minutes until bedtime. (Designing books works far better if I have a big enough chunk of time to wrap my head around the gestalt of it.)

It's only noon. I would really, really like this to improve.

Crossposts: http://jeliza.livejournal.com/1020017.html

One of the cats left a little "present" on the special fitted tablecloth I need for the show tomorrow. But apparently using a washing machine can mean it ends up a massively wrinkled mess, and I don't know that I even own an iron. Aaaaaagh.

And part of me wants to not put out my favorite new bracelet because I don't have (and probably won't have time to make) a good photo, since I can't scan them. bleah.

In case I haven't plugged it enough, I will be at the Greenlake Great Hall tomorrow for the Seattle Makers Market. I have stopped being stressed about all the other jewelry artists being of the "chic and elegant" variety because they all charge twice as much as I do (and use real silver and gemstones and stuff) so it isn't like I'll really be competing with them for sales. Though I might not be the right vibe for the market in general, but that's a different issue and remains to be seen.

I am dignified profeshnul artist and totally an adult and not a sack of squirrel in a human suit. Rilly.

I was really excited that I successfully designed and executed cards for my necklaces that will contain the chains and look good when hanging, AND cajoled my laser printer into working with cardstock, and was all set to put the 22 pieces going to Windycon on them... and then realized that the afternoon photo session to document all the new pieces didn't happen yet.becuase chaos is the natural order of things around here. (I have to ship them by Saturday, so ... )

I really need good pictures, too, because I'm possibly going to be applying to juried things, and in general I need to put things up on the website that aren't nasty cell phone shots -- and glitter infused paint under glass is not exactly an easy subject.

Wah. I suspect Friday night might involve Red Bull. (We have hit holiday season in album-land, so I have three of those to design by Monday-ish, too, with somewhere between two and five on the immediate horizon.)

(this is mostly just noodling for my own benefit, since maybe if I write it down I'll have to think about it less.)

The weird silver lining of when my depression was less controlled was that when the world is dulled, I didn't care that much about how I present to the world as long as it isn't very feminine. Clothes must be physically comfortable, always, but hitting a more precise zone in the masculine/butch/unmarkedandrogynous/both-and-androgynous/womanlybutnotveryfeminine space isn't an issue. Given that I default to jeans+tank top+maybe a sweather and have visible boobs/hips, that last one is where I tended to land out of sheer apathy.

But when my mind is clearer, it becomes an issue.

And makeup has become amusing again, in a "drawing lines on my face" and "bright colors are my jam" kind of way.
And it is summer, when sundresses are just so damn easy (I am not made for heat. Also, I found nifty soft knit dresses which are super comfy.)
And I am starting to care about looking like not-a-slob more if I go out where people can see me. Even if it means that I dress like a 20something art student, I'd like to look like I'm doing it on purpose.

This means that I am having to devote far more processing cycles than I want to what else I am doing with presentation. Is the funny colored mohawk going to be sufficient to balance the dress AND lipstick? Do I need to shave my head completely? Are there even sandals that aren't ugly and aren't feminine (and can handle a lift) in the world or is my emotional comfort going to demand a summer of sweaty feet in boots/sneakers?

And does all this angsting mean I need to be pondering that whole identity thing again (seriously, I did my therapy time already), which seems in many ways pointless because whether the label is cis or gender-something, it will have pretty much no practical effect given how my life is structured? Or are my appearance preferences just frosting that doesn't need to affect the flavor of the gender-identity cake, so I can just go think about whether I should concentrate on charcoal or digital drawing instead?

I really wish I didn't care. I have so many other things I could be doing with the brain time.

I don't want to adult. I want to play Civ 3 non-stop for hours.

Not mine, the kids. Shoreline School District, in its infininte wisdom, turns President's Day into a week-long Mid-Winter Break. (Seattle only does an extra day off.)

I do not understand why there are so many vacations, and random days off. I don't think there is a month without at least a day of non-holiday based kid day off. Which I can accomodate, albeit stressfully, but has to powerfully suck for parents with "regular" jobs. As it is, while I can make the schedules work (usually by slowing up on work stuff), as I am so hella introverted that even having people in the house who are not even interacting with me can be draining, I really, really, miss the alone time. And it's only Tuesday. Though having the time to just cuddle with the kids for a half-hour, without the schedule demands of school and homework and swim lessons and appointments is nice. Also sleeping in.

S is taking the kids to recreation swim in an hour on his day off. I need to actually turn that 1.5 hour reprieve into productivity, not just collapsing into a semi-nap and reading omonatheydidnt which I am probably entirely caught up on anyway. (The new 4minute single is stupid good EDM/pop, and I wanna listen to it constantly, and it isn't up for sale in the U.S. yet. Hrmph. Having to refresh youtube instead of just sticking it into a WMP or Spotify playlist is irritating.)

The business has written a spectacular number of large checks in the last three weeks; always forgot in the immediate post-holiday order money-coming-in happy place how much of it is going to go right back out. I am almost tempted to pay book one of my regular advertising sites for a 6 month stint at the slightly higher rate so that then the yearly bill doesn't come in January. Advertising is my second largest expense, right after Cost of Good Sold, which is kind of impressive, but daunting.

Getting back to vacation, it has been suggested I take one. The few days I took at the coast last year were wonderful, even if the year then kicked my feet out from under me and took most of the rested-ness away soon after (and I still haven't even scanned in the film, or looked through the pictures to see if I want to print any/submit to stock. Oi.) Both my SLRs just died, so a photography retreat is probably not called for. I've been looking for an art workshop weekend, but mostly finding things that are too expensive, above my ability level, or too twee. Sometimes I really wish I liked playing with Just Pretty. I am beginning to regard my brain's tendancy to like the things that are hard and odd as a flaw.

Current Music: f(x) - Electric Shock

Crash-learning is never fun, but InDesign really is the bomb, and I should have done this ages ago. It's so much FASTER, and having out-of-program image edits update almost automatically without having to put the new version in manually is awesome. Making it work for matted albums and certain kinds of complex spreads isn't going to work, or at least not until I level up a whole lot, but even just in processing time it's gonna save me so much time.

Listening to conscious hip-hop while working on luxury books is kind of weird, but it's what my brain wants today.

I have got to figure out how to safely put a space heater in here, my fingers keep stiffening up.

It is nigh impossible to get to 2000 calories on a clear liquid diet in any kind of useful way. I am profoundly sick of Jell-o and chicken broth, but will be having more of both. And oceans of Lemon Zinger.

I hate everything right now. Probably because it's mid-afternoon and I still have almost no actual body fuel in me.

Yuck.

Tomorrow night, when this is all over, I will be eating ALL THE THINGS.

(And did I mention I have a tree full of ripe Bing cherries outside? This is torture.)

ETA: Miso Soup is my salvation. Now I am slightly less likely to wish to kill.

Entries tagged with whining

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life continues, working and ouch edition.

sprains suck.

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today is fired.

the run around flailing stage of show prep

I made my crafting roll! But not my scheduling roll.

if shaved head, then red lipstick = ok, else chapstick

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vacation and miscellania

hindsight and progress

I am so hating life right now.

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March 2025

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