thanks for nothing, interwebs

So, I can't find the title to the car which is almost dead, and will need to be traded-in/sold for parts/whatever, and the state of Washington has a lovely form you can use to request a new one, which, reasonably, asks for the number of the title.

Now, if you google "find title for car" you will get tons of tutorials/forum posts/etc. All of which say "it's on your registration, close to the VIN."

Well, no, it isn't. Not in Washington State, anyway.  So what I need right now is for the car to stay alive the possibly 3 months it is going to take to sort this out and get a replacement title. Ugh.

And it's a Saturn, so the people you would normally contact if the registration trick doesn't work anymore? No longer in existence. Awesome.